The Silly Side #6

The Silly Side

The Silly Side #6

A monastery falls on hard times so 2 monks decide to open a FISH & CHIP bar. On the first day of opening a woman comes in and sees one of the monks peeling spuds, so she says to him, “You must be the chipmonk”, he replies,”No, I’m the friar”

“Doctor, Doctor. I’ve got a strawberry stuck up my butt.” Doctor: “I’ve got some cream for that.”

How do you know that you have slept like a log? A. You wake up in the fireplace.

Joan, the town gossip and supervisor of the town’s morals, recently accused George, a local man, of being an alcoholic because she saw his pickup truck parked outside the town’s only bar. George stared at her for a moment, and said nothing. Later that evening, he parked his pickup truck in front of her house and left it there all night.

Farmer Fred has an American farmer visiting him. The American farmer is boasting about the size of his land in the United States: “My land is so big, that it takes me two hours to drive around it by car.” Farmer Fred is silent for a while. Then he nods and says: “I know what you mean, once I had such a car, too.”

What’s a Grecian Urn? Not much nowadays.

Two parrots sitting on a perch. One says to the other, “Can you smell fish?”

I joined an origami club, but it folded.

Rene Descartes walks into a bar. Bartender says, “have a beer?” Descartes says, “I think…not…”   and disappears.

While robbing a home, a burglar hears someone say, “Jesus is watching you.” To his  relief, he realizes it is just a parrot mimicking something it had heard.  The burglar asks the parrot, “What’s your name?”  The parrot says, “Moses.”  The burglar goes on to ask, “What kind of a person names their parrot Moses?”  The parrot replies, “The same kind of person that names his Rottweiler Jesus.”

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.”
Steven Wright