Silly Side #9

The Silly Side

The Silly Side #9

I had a dream that I was a muffler last night.  I woke up exhausted.

A group of managers were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So  they went to the flagpole with a ladder and measuring tape. They keep falling off the ladder,  dropping the tape and the whole thing is in a mess. An engineer comes along and sees what they are trying to do. He walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lay it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the managers and walks away. After the engineer left, one manager turns to another and laughs. ”Isn’t that just like an engineer? We are looking for the height and he gives us the length ”

Why don’t cannibals like clowns? Because they taste funny

There were two cows in a field.  One said “moo”, the other one said “I was going to say that.”

How do you confuse an idiot? Purple

  1. Q) What is the difference between illegal and unlawful? A) One is against the law and the other is a sick bird.

A man driving on a highway is pulled over by a police officer.  The officer asks, “Did you know your wife fell out of your car a kilometre back?”  “Thank God,” say the man, “I thought I was going deaf. ”

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?  Two, one to do it and another to hold the fish.

Why are giraffes necks so long?  Because their heads are so far away.

As a funeral train passes by a golf course, a golfer on one of the greens stops, stands at attention with hat held over his heart as the hearse goes by.  Then he goes back to lining up his putt.  His playing partner remarks how that was the nicest gesture he’d ever seen, to show such respect for the dead.  The first golfer sinks his putt and says, “Well, she was a good wife for sixteen years.”

If a drug store is open 24 hours, why are there locks on the doors?”